I decided I wanted to explore the idea of absence. The lack of something; small, big, insignificant, a person, an object, food, an idea, anything. I wanted to create a piece that showed the holes in life and the potential affects they had on the human mind. But that idea, too, started to swallow me.
In Embodied Craft, we had to start working on a final solo and I chose to explore the idea of Abandonment. But, with a few twists: 1. it was to be from the perspective of the person abandoning and 2. it was to be explored through the idea that comedy and tragedy live so closely in harmony.
1. As I have stated, a huge part of my creative process is embracing my life and what has happened to me, what is relevant to everyone. And everyone can relate to relationships. And so this story ensues…
He was the nicest guy I had ever met, ever, by far; a sweet and sincere individual who only wanted someone to share everything with. He needed someone who could be there to keep him standing when he started to fall. He stayed guarded yet open and slowly but surely let me in, even when I wasn’t necessarily reciprocating. He did so because he needed someone; he needed someone so badly. But,I couldn’t be that for him, and I knew it from day one but I was willing to try. (Because let’s face it, all the rest of my friends are engaged, married, living with their significant other, or even, dare I say, starting families and I’m over here: “I like…pizza?” ALONE.) It isn’t that I don’t want all of that because I do, of course I do, who doesn’t really? Who doesn’t want someone to come home to at the end of the day? To share the good, the bad, and a burrito with. (Okay, well maybe not the burrito, those are sacred but we get the picture.) I just couldn’t be this for him. He needed more than I could give but I wasn’t sure how to handle it all, so I ran. I ran so fast. And I ran without giving him warning. He looked at me and told me how much he cared about me, how no one in the world was like me and I ran away. I ran away because that’s how it works, fight or flight baby, fight or flight. We haven’t spoken since, and I know the day will come that I have to, that I have to face him. And guess what, I’ll probably make some sarcastic response, because realistically there is no awkward situation sarcasm can’t get me out of.
Which brings me to my next topic…
2. Comedy and tragedy.
Now, I don’t have a lot of artists who influence me heavily. I respect tons but few have made an everlasting impression on my work. But of those few who I hold on to tightly, Monica Bill Barnes is one of them. She brings about this idea of comedy and tragedy living so closely together, and it’s true. I can’t lie. I personally have learned that often times what the world finds tragic, I find funny. It’s funny; life is hilarious. And as a society, myself leading the cause, we make jokes of what scares us most. Example: abandonment; the runaway bride. At what moment in the world is person running away from someone of whom they planned to spend the rest of their with “till death do [they] part” a joke?! But it is. Julia Roberts could tell you about it. She totally rocked the wedding dress and sneakers in that flick. It’s funny, we laugh, and it’s okay.
And it was from all of this, all of these words I laid out on the Internet for all to read that the idea came to me: embrace the idea of abandonment through the lens of a runaway bride, envelope comedy inside something tragic.
In Embodied Craft, we had to start working on a final solo and I chose to explore the idea of Abandonment. But, with a few twists: 1. it was to be from the perspective of the person abandoning and 2. it was to be explored through the idea that comedy and tragedy live so closely in harmony.
1. As I have stated, a huge part of my creative process is embracing my life and what has happened to me, what is relevant to everyone. And everyone can relate to relationships. And so this story ensues…
He was the nicest guy I had ever met, ever, by far; a sweet and sincere individual who only wanted someone to share everything with. He needed someone who could be there to keep him standing when he started to fall. He stayed guarded yet open and slowly but surely let me in, even when I wasn’t necessarily reciprocating. He did so because he needed someone; he needed someone so badly. But,I couldn’t be that for him, and I knew it from day one but I was willing to try. (Because let’s face it, all the rest of my friends are engaged, married, living with their significant other, or even, dare I say, starting families and I’m over here: “I like…pizza?” ALONE.) It isn’t that I don’t want all of that because I do, of course I do, who doesn’t really? Who doesn’t want someone to come home to at the end of the day? To share the good, the bad, and a burrito with. (Okay, well maybe not the burrito, those are sacred but we get the picture.) I just couldn’t be this for him. He needed more than I could give but I wasn’t sure how to handle it all, so I ran. I ran so fast. And I ran without giving him warning. He looked at me and told me how much he cared about me, how no one in the world was like me and I ran away. I ran away because that’s how it works, fight or flight baby, fight or flight. We haven’t spoken since, and I know the day will come that I have to, that I have to face him. And guess what, I’ll probably make some sarcastic response, because realistically there is no awkward situation sarcasm can’t get me out of.
Which brings me to my next topic…
2. Comedy and tragedy.
Now, I don’t have a lot of artists who influence me heavily. I respect tons but few have made an everlasting impression on my work. But of those few who I hold on to tightly, Monica Bill Barnes is one of them. She brings about this idea of comedy and tragedy living so closely together, and it’s true. I can’t lie. I personally have learned that often times what the world finds tragic, I find funny. It’s funny; life is hilarious. And as a society, myself leading the cause, we make jokes of what scares us most. Example: abandonment; the runaway bride. At what moment in the world is person running away from someone of whom they planned to spend the rest of their with “till death do [they] part” a joke?! But it is. Julia Roberts could tell you about it. She totally rocked the wedding dress and sneakers in that flick. It’s funny, we laugh, and it’s okay.
And it was from all of this, all of these words I laid out on the Internet for all to read that the idea came to me: embrace the idea of abandonment through the lens of a runaway bride, envelope comedy inside something tragic.