to the one who wanted more than I could give,
I’ve never written a love letter that ever went to anyone. They always ended up crumbled up in the corner somewhere, left to collect dust. Or tucked away in a notebook so far away I forget its mere existence, and this one will be no different. It will never go to whom it belongs. But I fear, that’s probably for the better, because not only is this a love letter, it is a goodbye.
I am sorry. And I know you may have no idea what I’m sorry for, for I am not sure that I even know. I just know I feel sad when I think of what I did. You deserved more than I could ever give.
But that isn’t what I’m sorry for.
I find myself to believe that I am sorry I could never explain this to you. That I just left you, I walked away from you when you needed someone. And for that, I am deeply sorry.
I truthfully believed that I wanted to stay. At least I thought I did. But the reality is that I didn’t. I didn’t want to stay. Not really, ever. I couldn’t be everything you needed. And quite frankly I didn’t want to be everything you needed. It was too much pressure, more than I could handle. I am strong, and I’m proud of that, and you saw that, but not strong enough to hold on to you and me at the same time. You need someone who has a handle on everything in a way further than I do. You need someone who is stable and stationary, and I am only one. I am only stable. And only so stable as the eye can see. I was afraid you would’ve told me to stay at times when I needed to go. You told me I was all you needed, but you weren’t all I needed. I need more. I needed something bigger than us. And for that, I am sorry.
You were an incredible, actually you probably still are, person. You cared more than anyone I had ever met and I took advantage of that. But I needed just as much as you did; just in different ways. You were a part of my life, and I yours and I ran away. But if I am telling the truth, given the chance, I would do it all over again, same ending. And for that I am sorry as well.
Please, find what you’re looking for. Have the courage to approach any and every girl you so chose, you never know which girl needs you the way you need them. I just wasn’t that girl.
And luckily, I have moved on.
I’ve never written a love letter that ever went to anyone. They always ended up crumbled up in the corner somewhere, left to collect dust. Or tucked away in a notebook so far away I forget its mere existence, and this one will be no different. It will never go to whom it belongs. But I fear, that’s probably for the better, because not only is this a love letter, it is a goodbye.
I am sorry. And I know you may have no idea what I’m sorry for, for I am not sure that I even know. I just know I feel sad when I think of what I did. You deserved more than I could ever give.
But that isn’t what I’m sorry for.
I find myself to believe that I am sorry I could never explain this to you. That I just left you, I walked away from you when you needed someone. And for that, I am deeply sorry.
I truthfully believed that I wanted to stay. At least I thought I did. But the reality is that I didn’t. I didn’t want to stay. Not really, ever. I couldn’t be everything you needed. And quite frankly I didn’t want to be everything you needed. It was too much pressure, more than I could handle. I am strong, and I’m proud of that, and you saw that, but not strong enough to hold on to you and me at the same time. You need someone who has a handle on everything in a way further than I do. You need someone who is stable and stationary, and I am only one. I am only stable. And only so stable as the eye can see. I was afraid you would’ve told me to stay at times when I needed to go. You told me I was all you needed, but you weren’t all I needed. I need more. I needed something bigger than us. And for that, I am sorry.
You were an incredible, actually you probably still are, person. You cared more than anyone I had ever met and I took advantage of that. But I needed just as much as you did; just in different ways. You were a part of my life, and I yours and I ran away. But if I am telling the truth, given the chance, I would do it all over again, same ending. And for that I am sorry as well.
Please, find what you’re looking for. Have the courage to approach any and every girl you so chose, you never know which girl needs you the way you need them. I just wasn’t that girl.
And luckily, I have moved on.